Today I was reminded, yet again, of just how great God is.
Despite all my worries and all my scheming- he supplies me in the deep places of my heart. And through it, I think I'm learning to be more and more thankful for even the littlest of these. There is a goodness and a beauty which resides there that I feel I'm not even qualified to look at, let alone touch. But Im blown away when God tells me its for me. Wow. I guess I'm so used to fake people and cynical offers that I've grown distrustful in my heart towards others. So when genuinely good things come around, I find myself eyeing them doubtfully and heaping all the worry and stringent guilt on myself. Learning to love others can be easy enough, but learning to love myself- that's hard. And I honestly don't know what to do. It seems like there are so many people around me who are hurting or destructive- and my heart yearns to help- and as I instinctively reach out, I leave nothing for myself. Run long enough and I go empty. I need to learn to seek out God's water for my soul- until then I'm only a summer cloud without rain. Pray for me.
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