Autumn Shadows

Fall is coming soon-
I can feel it beginning to cool the air-
the sun rises later each day.
Right now it seems I wish I were everywhere I'm not.
I wish I were back in Hannibal, MO for what I'm sure is a ravishing fall.
But then again, I also wish I were back in the pacific northwest
up in the cascade range by the sea.
There's something about it that moves me each year-
but now it seems like I'm chasing a joy.
The usual comfortable nooks and crannies don't hold the autumnness that I crave every year.
Each place I wish I were holds it's own special magic which is unique only there.
I miss the cold, bleak fall days in run-down Missouri towns...
I miss the salty-sea breeze and the smell of the pines along the Oregon coast.
What i miss is hard to describe and find,
because it cant be faked
or bought...
I feel restless like the leaves.

In Surprised by Joy,
CS Lewis talks about chasing joy,
and about how eventually it brought him to know Jesus.
Joy is never something you can really say you "have"
because more often than not,
when ever you can say you have it, it's leaving quick-
and then you have to hunt it all over again...
or perhaps Joy hunts us,
and we are the prey...
All our joys and loves,
I think,
lead back to God.
If ever we loved something- or enjoyed something-
i believe there is a shadow of heaven lingering somewhere,
glinting mysteriously in the back ground-
It calls us to the great battle of our time,
the war we were called to fight
and win-
it's epic and vast
endless in scope and magnitude
high and cold
we've been made for it-
we don't take joy out of something
or love something
just by accident or by blind chance-
they were meant for us
and we for it.
what we were born to do-
what we love and strive for
are hidden secrets.
I'm sure Fall has something to do with this... i could write forever about it because there are sooo many layers- it moves my soul, wordless, profound...
and there's a shadow of heaven walking deep within it.
which makes me love it all the more.
Where do you see the shadows of heaven walking in the joys of your life?
Or am I just rambling...? let me know!
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