Tuesday, September 28, 2010

I dont know everything (and that's ok)


Yesterday I figured it out.
it's silly really- but it's also burning up my heart too.
I was listening to my Iron and Wine Pandora stations
when a song by an amazing artist named Brett Dennin (or something like that)
came on- and one of the lines near the end said something like,

"staring up at the sky
and wondering where I'll go
when i die."

but it was a very dreamy, real wonder tinged to the voice

and it made me wonder too.

which, ironically,
isnt something i've done in a LONG time.

See- I caught myself red-handed
assuming I knew it all already-

like I had figured out my version of christianity and i was good with it
like from my unapproachable peaks I could look out over the realm
and come what may
i would never change
never be truly threatened.

Until wonder came along.

When I assume I know everything-
there is no more wonder
no more assuming the answer.

and so now my heart is being roasted slowly over the holy spirit's fire
Wonder like I never knew-
genuine and child-like
like when the first snows come
or when summer burns down and school comes again...
like when i first read the bible and
spent hours laying on my floor in my room
devouring The Message for the very first time-
except it's not so much that it's the first time-
it's that now, perhaps its now and not then.

wonder again.

maybe you're not right after all
maybe you dont know everything-
but hey- it's ok.

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