I'm having a hard time staying positive these days. I know that I am
certainly blessed, but for some reason things are just irritating me
more than usual. I'm still trying to discover who I really am. It
sounds strange, but I don't know that. I know who I used to be. Some
main things have not changed. I'm still generally the same person I
was maybe five years ago. Some things that gave me joy five years ago
no longer give me joy. I know I'm changing, but I need to know how I'm
changing. I thought adolescence was the end of my changes. Nope... So
now my search. What gives me joy? By the way, what the heck is joy?
For me joy is a really important thing, and it is really hard to
describe. It's something deeper than happiness. I want to know that I
can accomplish what I desire. My goals need to be real, and not just
ideas. I don't want to be lazy. So that's my thought for the day. Goal
#1 joy.
I feel the same way, Lorenzo... and it's hard to relate it right to people... but I know things have changed. Like it's a new chapter- and a lot of what drove me before doesnt mean much to me anymore... it's an odd feeling... sometimes I feel like my former self is a ghost haunting me...
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