Friday, August 19, 2011

What's to Blame

The Left is ruining America. The Right is ruining America. The media is ruining America. The Corporations are ruining America. Church is Ruining America. The Economy is Ruining America. My boss is to blame. My Sister is to blame. My situation is to blame. My car is to blame. My friends are to blame. My disability is to blame. My medication is to blame. Laws are to blame. My looks are to blame. My self-esteem is to blame. My education is to blame. My health is to blame. My past is to blame. My present is to blame. The weather is to blame. Bad luck is to blame. Society is to blame. Culture is to blame. My Dad is to blame...


What's missing today?

George MacDonald, 18th century writer, preacher and friend to Lewis Carrol (Alice in Wonderland) and inspiration to C.S. Lewis, firmly believed the nature of the relationship between fathers and their sons guided the nature of our identity and potential. This is exactly why God is a Father, and Jesus is His one and only Son. That is why love is at the core. Because, at the Core, it's always been about the nature of our relationships. Whether it's how we treat our pets, family, spouses or friends.

Kinda crazy, huh?

Let's get one thing straight here, though.
Im not telling you to go buy your dad a Halmark card or to go read more Bible verses or take up yoga to get at one with yourself more.

 In Donald Miller's book, Father Fiction,

I've being challenged to rethink what it means to be who I am.
I'm realizing that the depth of the knife-wound so many people carry comes from not having a good relationship with their dad. It messes with our heads when we don't even know that there's a fundamental problem in us. Now, I'm happy to admit that I have a pretty good relationship with my dad (so long as we're not playing Risk or I'm editing his sermons...) But when we don't know who we are, it's often because we were never told and never shown. As a result, we often imagine ourselves powerless- and it's often this way because we grew up without a good relationship with our dads, God and ourselves.

One of our great powers as people is through our power of relationship.

Think about it.

One good relationship is all it takes to change our whole perception of everything.

It's when we change our perceptions and reactions that we'll see and imitate goodness and beauty and love, thoughtlessly- through how we see ourselves and relate with others.

What I've often times seen with people, is that they act as if they believe they are entitled.
And they get angry or pout when how they believe they ought to be treated is violated.
If allowed to go on long enough-
they are often changed into a creature of this habit, by internalizing it.
With enough time, we become
Defined by it.
Owned by it.
Known by it.

Until it gradually becomes us.

So what's the nature of your relationship with your father?

How is your life encountering, touching and changing people you meet everyday?
What will you pass on when you become a father, or a mentor one day, or even now?

In our lives today, we face an epidemic when it comes to fatherlessness.
Chances are you are one of the statistics already, or can rattle off the names of friends who never knew their fathers, or had a father who failed miserably at being a dad.

Its funny how the consequences of one relationship can alter everything for us.

This Saturday- this is what SpeakEasy radio is about.

When men act like men and lead, we will see a pronounced difference.

Sometimes people just need your quality time.
Some people, they need to be enabled.
Others, they need an example.
And sometimes we just need to express ourselves,
and know that we honestly matter (to you).

For more, check out Donald Miller's book Father Fiction (To Own a Dragon)


Like what you read? Join in with your own insights, stories and art- send them to Through how you've seen God move, we can change people through love. For more, listen to SpeakEasy radio, every Saturday night at 6pm MST on KKIM. Listen live at Thanks and God bless -Ryan

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