Last night Steph and I were burning our back pile and talking about what we thought we should try and do with our lives. We both agreed that just living in a moderately nice home with 2.5 kids just wasnt for us... as if we would be wasting some precious gift from God or something... we also felt like whether we're here or there, we're not able to use our gifts for various reasons. It was interesting, but for the first time I felt like I honestly had no idea what we should do. Im tired of being restless. Things are getting better here, this is true... but it's not it... Im not really sure where to even take the next sentence. And the whole business is generally confusing because there's so much I love, but im not sure how to go about using any of it without feeling a bit selfish. God, I hope something is sent my way. Because wherever I look is blocked off. Is right now where you want me? I need your clarity desperately. You know what I mean.
ryan
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