Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Love and Taxes

Today I read the chapter out of Blue Like Jazz Stephanie (my wife) always quotes.

I can remember the first time she read it to me.

We were sitting at a subway in Quincy, Il- getting dinner (or supper, as she would insist on calling it).

One of the main points of the chapter deals with how we as Christians try to use unconditional love like money.

Think about it.

"You owe it someone"

"You mean so much to me"

"I value you"

"You're priceless"

"the relationship is bankrupt"

Come to think of it, i have a hard time not using economical terms to describe love.
It was that summer that I learned the most about love and grace.
Love is not about value or deserving anything.
That hot, sticky summer along the Mississippi- the year the river flooded-
I was taking summer courses at John Wood Community College
while interning at WGCA radio station
and living at a friends' house.
All the while I was looking and looking for a job and for whatever reason- absolutely no one would hire me.
Maybe it was because 'I wasn't from around those parts' or whatever... but I was broke and had to perpetually rely on everyone else for everything.

And I hated it.

I hated how I had to beg and scrape-

I had a lot of pride. I really don't like being poor.

I had nothing to exchange for everyone else' love. Nothing except my (as I was convinced then, worthless) self. But I learned, I think, that love does not rely on dollars and cents. Isn't bound by time- always hopes- always perseveres.

Even after WGCA said they couldn't pay me... I stuck around... I told them I would be there anyway- pay or no pay.

I think it's when we realize we have nothing to offer, we learn what love is really about. We need to love like breathing- we'd gladly do it anyway. It's when we love like that, I think, that we really, truly know about God and ourselves and others- and how we all work together. what do you think? let me know-

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