Thursday, May 5, 2011

Philippians 4:6-7

I just go back from a National Day of Prayer Event here in Albuquerque,
and while the official meeting was pretty much what I expected,
I feel like someone God is using it to reveal to me that I am a very selfish person.
I think I havent actually felt humbled in a long time.
Just listening to my phone messages- all the people God has in my life that really care for me-
that pray for me, that think about me and try to let me know they care.
Every work day, I try to put a new verse up on our Facebook, and today it was
“Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.” - Philippians 4:6-7
It's kinda exactly what I needed-
and, I dont know- I feel like my heart hurts... like I dont realize everyone that cares, genuinely, for me- all the while I cry for people to notice and value me... when I dont seriously realize that they already do...
and so I am what I am... it's almost as if there is only continuing at this point in life, because I cant figure myself out- like no matter which way I decide to go, it's just wrong- it's just continuing on in a system of fakeness... 
I need to be completely new- inside and out- not my intentions or motivations- but Jesus'... 
What about you? 

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