"Sanctuary"

It's late for me...

Pandora is jamming out and my wife is already crashed from another hard, long day of work...
It's a misty grey November evening outside and Im bumming around the internet... it might just be the long day off talking, but I feel as if things were a little better than they've been lately. Honestly, I dont really care if most of the blogger stats are telling me that 90% of everyone coming here is just off picture searches... sometimes I feel like I have to posture what I'm going to say on here so it comes off right... that's why I havent been blogging as much lately (and because i've been working like a dog). It's days like today when i feel like Im slowly getting somewhere through all the turmoil and upheaval with what life's thrown at me lately. Like Im finally getting some solid ground. And what I've realized with my temporary gift of sanity today is that everything is a gift. It's astounding. The fact that im in a house I own- the face that i have electricity or internet (via my cell phone), or running water, or a wife who loves me (and puts up with me on a regular basis)... but the high point of this evening of thankfulness was after watching one of my favorite TV shows, Sanctuary, off of Hulu... check out the latest episode with this posts' date for fun, if you'd like... anyways, if you dont know yet- I've died several times from childhood cancer... and it got me thinking that life is all a gift- a blessing... because I cant imagine what life would be like for others if God wasnt determined to ensure I didnt stay dead as an infant. Dont take this the wrong way- it's not like it's so great that im alive perse- or that God chose me for some inexplicably special reason, either. This is all about the goodness and perfectness of God here. There's so much He can affect with one single life in love with him. Right now, where you are- he IS using you... even if it's anything like the situation Im in right now... with life majorly sucking and bills barely being paid and me feeling powerless... he is working through our weakness- using simple, humble things like crappy, long work days and sleepless nights- peaceless weeks and let-down church services to connect with everyone else around you and I on a unique level which would be literally impossible otherwise. It's mindblowing. I'll probably forget about this in a few days... but maybe these words, from a former dead man will help you out there in the ubiquitous land of the internet tonight (or today- whatever...)

There is truth and power even in your most mundane hope and dream- power in your shortest breath and weakest struggle- and this power, this meaning isnt limited to some narcisistic sentiment, either- but a giant neon sign pointing to the goodness of a good God- on fire- hitting all the aces for you- showing up early just to clean house for you, wherever you are- for nothing you've done or could do- but just because He loves you. Trust Him to know what He's doing... even if it's been a LONG time since you last could touch base and have some quality one-on-one time... if you ever asked for proof that he's talking, take this post as a calling card... because i've been awfully bitter lately- and these words really arent my own tonight...

peace (from the highest to the lowest in your heart, soul, dreams, passions and exasperation)
Ryan

Like what you read? Join in with your own insights, stories and art- send them to ryanpfreeman1@aol.com. Through how you've seen God move, we can change people through love. For more, listen to SpeakEasy radio, every Saturday night at 6pm MST on KKIM. Listen live at http://mykkim.com. Thanks and God bless -Ryan